As Long as She's Happy . . .

Well, now that you all know my weakness for the gossip column, I've decided to share another tidbit I found at MSN Entertainment.

Hubby and I have had this snarky feud going the past couple of years. He adores Britney Spears. Completely adores her. I never had any real problems with her. I mean, she's moderately talented, has a really nice body, and generally seems sweet when she's being interviewed. The only problem I ever had with her was her image. Being the mother of young girls, the last thing they need to be idolizing is some scantily clad teenage tart.

Anyway - we all know about Brit's other half. The moocher. The man who, in my humble opinion, showed very little class when he dumped his PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND for Ms. Britney. The man who, to the best of my knowledge, has no life skills on his resume, save a few dancing gigs. It's guys like this who remind me of those cute guys you went to school with. You know - popular, good-looking, skated through school not ever learning anything, barely passing with C's and D's, who you see 10 or 15 years after graduation, still dressing the same way they did, still talking the same way, still living with Mom and Dad. You know - complete losers.

So - for some unknown reason, GQ has listed Mr. Federline as one of their "Men of the Year", and I stole the following from MSN Entertainment, who in turn, stole it from GQ. Btw - my snark is printed in green.

Speaking of crying, you'll likely be shedding a few tears -- of laughter anyway -- after reading K. Fed's interview with GQ, which just dubbed him one of its Men of the Year.

The magazine quizzes the so-called "American Husband: Trophy Edition"(ah yes - that explains his new title - it's the 'trophy edition'. gotcha.) on his domestic duties, including whether there's a particular "household task" at which he excels.

Offers Kevin, "Pressing the TV buttons. Yeah, dude. That's like the No. 1 thing." (my guess is that's all he's qualified to do.)

Does he ever surprise his meal-ticket missus with flowers? "Oh yeah," says the romance-minded Federline. "I'll call up the [bleeping] florist before I get a hotel room for us and have them stock it with flowers and a card saying something. You've got to keep it interesting, man." (let me guess - you probably buy them with her money, huh?)

In between dialing the "[bleeping] florist" and penning love notes that say "something," Kevin is also happy to kowtow to his wife: "Oh yeah, I'll hold her purse. It's one of those things, you know? I've bought the Tampax, the baby diapers, I've been through all of that already." (Oh, yeah - you're just so experienced, and soo knowledgeable to women's needs - scuse me while I try to keep down my lunch.)

And that easygoing feeling extends to their home life, with Federline, who appears in the mag wearing denim he-capris, a standard issue white tank top, socks with sandals and an apron, revealing how he sometimes fails to secure the bathroom door: "The comfort level around here? It's family, man. It's like what you do with your brother or your sister or, you know, your moms or pops. I mean, you never cared when you were a kid." (yeah, but dude - you're not a kid anymore - grow the fuck up, already.)

As for why he was selected as Man of the Year, Britney's less flush half is convinced it's "because I'm Daddy, dude. I'm Daddy. [Bleep], that's pretty much it." (yup - that pretty much covers it, imo - moron.)