What brought it on . . .
Well, a few of you asked what brought the whole new blog on. I'm going to try to explain it, if I can.
Over the past few months, I've been feeling . . . I guess dissatisfied would be the best word to describe it. I felt like there was something about ME that I needed to change. I didn't feel right. I felt like I was 'less than' what I should be. Off kilter, out-of-sorts, and - most of all - disappointing. Not to others, but to myself. And I couldn't put a finger on what it was that was making me feel this way.
All I knew was - I had to make changes. I'm sure most of you noticed my lack of posting over the past few weeks. I explained it all off, saying I was busy. Well, I AM busy. Very very busy. But that never stopped me from posting before. It was more like - every time I tried to sit down and post something, I felt like I was lying. To myself. To my friends.
It came to a head on Sunday. I sat down at the computer and brought up my blog. I hated it. I hated everything about it (except for the pictures of my family, natch). I hated that it was pink. I hated the way it felt. The way it looked. I just didn't want to see it anymore. So, I deleted it.
I know it seems a bit rash. I guess it's less rash than other things I could have done. But, it made me feel better. I didn't want to stop posting. I just wanted to feel different about it. I wanted it to look different. I wanted a new slate, I suppose. In life, there are no new slates. Whereever we go, we bring our baggage with us. But here - here I could. And I felt better afterwards. I still feel better about it. So, it's a start.
I haven't decided on what picture I'm going to use for my avatar yet. I'm still in the process of figuring everything out. As you can see, I haven't gotten all my links listed yet. I meant to do them this morning, but I got . . . distracted (Thank you, honey!!! I LOVE being distracted by you!). So, maybe tomorrow morning, or during my lunch break tomorrow afternoon.
Speaking of which - my lunch break is now over.
Over the past few months, I've been feeling . . . I guess dissatisfied would be the best word to describe it. I felt like there was something about ME that I needed to change. I didn't feel right. I felt like I was 'less than' what I should be. Off kilter, out-of-sorts, and - most of all - disappointing. Not to others, but to myself. And I couldn't put a finger on what it was that was making me feel this way.
All I knew was - I had to make changes. I'm sure most of you noticed my lack of posting over the past few weeks. I explained it all off, saying I was busy. Well, I AM busy. Very very busy. But that never stopped me from posting before. It was more like - every time I tried to sit down and post something, I felt like I was lying. To myself. To my friends.
It came to a head on Sunday. I sat down at the computer and brought up my blog. I hated it. I hated everything about it (except for the pictures of my family, natch). I hated that it was pink. I hated the way it felt. The way it looked. I just didn't want to see it anymore. So, I deleted it.
I know it seems a bit rash. I guess it's less rash than other things I could have done. But, it made me feel better. I didn't want to stop posting. I just wanted to feel different about it. I wanted it to look different. I wanted a new slate, I suppose. In life, there are no new slates. Whereever we go, we bring our baggage with us. But here - here I could. And I felt better afterwards. I still feel better about it. So, it's a start.
I haven't decided on what picture I'm going to use for my avatar yet. I'm still in the process of figuring everything out. As you can see, I haven't gotten all my links listed yet. I meant to do them this morning, but I got . . . distracted (Thank you, honey!!! I LOVE being distracted by you!). So, maybe tomorrow morning, or during my lunch break tomorrow afternoon.
Speaking of which - my lunch break is now over.
posted by Callie | 11/01/2005 12:16:00 PM
10 Comments:
I know what you meant about needing change. When I have that need, I usually end up changing my hair colour. I'm sure Mossy would tell you that he'd prefer if I just redid my blog. :oP
I dunno, honey...I like some of your "hairstyle" options.
I"m hoping you'll change back to normal. Not who you think you should be, but who you are. Thats who I fell in love with. X,O
Never be afraid to try new things...that includes group bunny.
:)
I like the new blog.
*HUGS* I'm glad you're back!
When I need a change I usually change my hair color LOL LOL and I'm thinking about either going back to blond or trying black. I'll probably just end up dying it red again though. LOL
LOL! Thanks guys!
I'm not saying my last blog was a lie, or that my new blog is more ME. I just want it to feel more honestly ME than I felt with the other one.
I have NO idea if that makes any sense whatsoever. LOL
I understand what you're talking about. It's all good and we all love ya!
It totally makes sense... at least, to women.
It's kind of like having 3 different pairs of black shoes... or jeans.
It's just right.
I think your avatar should be the picture that Lowk posted the other day.
Unblurred of course :P
That is always the best kind of distraction :-)
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