Well, this explains it
Now - people who know me, know that I love to read Hollywood gossip. I can't help it - it's an addiction. Granted, I refuse to buy the rag-mags (ie Enquirer, Star, etc), but I'll watch E!, read People Magazine, and whenever I'm on the net, I usually check E-online and MSN Hollywood. I love the stuff.
There have been very few couplings that have been as cringeworthy as TomKat. Honestly - that much happy happy joy joy, and I'm heading for the nearest barf-bag, thankyouverymuch. It just reeks of PR setup to me. Yeah, we've all heard the rumors about the possibility that TC is gay. Who gives a flying you-know-what??!! I seriously could care less. I just don't like the idea of people trying to pull wool over my eyes. Plus, when TC smiles, it's just smarmy. There's a huge "EW EW EW" factor - and there always has been where he is concerned. Add that to the fact that she looks about 12. Yes, I know she's of age, and I know 16 years really isn't that much of an age difference. But still . . . ew ew ew ew.
However, after reading the following interview, I can totally understand why Katie Holmes is such a sucker for Mr. Cruise. After dating someone like Chris Klein for 5 years, Tommy-boy would be a HUGE improvement.
Katie's Ungentlemanly Ex
Sure, Tom Cruise has indoctrinated Katie Holmes into an unorthodox faith, abused innocent sofas in her name (which he changed to Kate), repeatedly sucked on her tonsils in public and knocked her up with lightning speed, but, hey, at least he's not Chris Klein.
Yeah, we never thought we'd say that either, but then the actress' corn-fed ex-fiancé decided to spout off to Elle. We'd like to say he comes across in the interview as a chauvinistic, pompous bonehead, but that would be an insult to all the chauvinistic, pompous boneheads out there.
Whether through overcompensation or overconfidence, Klein, who dated Holmes for five years, spews some doltish doozies during the sit-down, beginning with whether there's a favorite meal he prepares to win over his dates.
"I don't need food to impress, man," boasts the cocky "American Pie" C-lister. "It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food."
Chris, 26, a self-described "alpha heterosexual" who only dates "8 to 10's," also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he's seeing gains a few pounds.
"I'm not tolerant of that at all," declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.
"When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body," he pontificates. "You have to say no."
Klein then rejects the interviewer's suggestion that "they're just looking for you to say, 'You look beautiful to me, honey.'" "If they do, it's placating," he scoffs. "I don't placate."
Given this attitude, it's not surprising when he admits the "worst thing" a woman ever said to him was, "You're a [expletive that rhymes with 'brass pole']."
As he recalls, "The time it really hurt was when a stranger said it. I was just trying to tell this chick to get lost. I try to treat all women with respect whether they're pretty or ugly. I want to be nice and be like, 'Wow, thanks for the attention. But get out of my face.'"
A few other gentlemanly gems from the chat include Chris describing wooing a woman as a "predator-prey situation" and admitting he stays "very closed off until a woman deserves to know me completely."
Asked if this approach makes it tough for potential partners to unravel the enigma that is Chris Klein, he sneers, "Hey, man, I'm not here to hold hands and babysit. She's got to come to the table with something."
As for his romance with Holmes, Klein reveals they "had an absolute ball, but we grew up." He insists they're still friends even though they don't talk, and dismissively says he doesn't keep up with her "amazing" Cruise coupling, which in the wake of this interview now seems slightly less cringe-inducing (curse you, Chris Klein!).
"No way," he huffs. "I've got fantasy football to play."
Now I ask all of you - how did he get someone to stay with him for 5 minutes, let alone 5 years? I was hoping the empty-eyed look she's been sporting for photo-ops was just an act, but I seriously think that gal has security issues to deal with. No wonder it was so easy for TC to brainwash . . . uh uh . . . convert her.
There have been very few couplings that have been as cringeworthy as TomKat. Honestly - that much happy happy joy joy, and I'm heading for the nearest barf-bag, thankyouverymuch. It just reeks of PR setup to me. Yeah, we've all heard the rumors about the possibility that TC is gay. Who gives a flying you-know-what??!! I seriously could care less. I just don't like the idea of people trying to pull wool over my eyes. Plus, when TC smiles, it's just smarmy. There's a huge "EW EW EW" factor - and there always has been where he is concerned. Add that to the fact that she looks about 12. Yes, I know she's of age, and I know 16 years really isn't that much of an age difference. But still . . . ew ew ew ew.
However, after reading the following interview, I can totally understand why Katie Holmes is such a sucker for Mr. Cruise. After dating someone like Chris Klein for 5 years, Tommy-boy would be a HUGE improvement.
Katie's Ungentlemanly Ex
Sure, Tom Cruise has indoctrinated Katie Holmes into an unorthodox faith, abused innocent sofas in her name (which he changed to Kate), repeatedly sucked on her tonsils in public and knocked her up with lightning speed, but, hey, at least he's not Chris Klein.
Yeah, we never thought we'd say that either, but then the actress' corn-fed ex-fiancé decided to spout off to Elle. We'd like to say he comes across in the interview as a chauvinistic, pompous bonehead, but that would be an insult to all the chauvinistic, pompous boneheads out there.
Whether through overcompensation or overconfidence, Klein, who dated Holmes for five years, spews some doltish doozies during the sit-down, beginning with whether there's a favorite meal he prepares to win over his dates.
"I don't need food to impress, man," boasts the cocky "American Pie" C-lister. "It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food."
Chris, 26, a self-described "alpha heterosexual" who only dates "8 to 10's," also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he's seeing gains a few pounds.
"I'm not tolerant of that at all," declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.
"When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body," he pontificates. "You have to say no."
Klein then rejects the interviewer's suggestion that "they're just looking for you to say, 'You look beautiful to me, honey.'" "If they do, it's placating," he scoffs. "I don't placate."
Given this attitude, it's not surprising when he admits the "worst thing" a woman ever said to him was, "You're a [expletive that rhymes with 'brass pole']."
As he recalls, "The time it really hurt was when a stranger said it. I was just trying to tell this chick to get lost. I try to treat all women with respect whether they're pretty or ugly. I want to be nice and be like, 'Wow, thanks for the attention. But get out of my face.'"
A few other gentlemanly gems from the chat include Chris describing wooing a woman as a "predator-prey situation" and admitting he stays "very closed off until a woman deserves to know me completely."
Asked if this approach makes it tough for potential partners to unravel the enigma that is Chris Klein, he sneers, "Hey, man, I'm not here to hold hands and babysit. She's got to come to the table with something."
As for his romance with Holmes, Klein reveals they "had an absolute ball, but we grew up." He insists they're still friends even though they don't talk, and dismissively says he doesn't keep up with her "amazing" Cruise coupling, which in the wake of this interview now seems slightly less cringe-inducing (curse you, Chris Klein!).
"No way," he huffs. "I've got fantasy football to play."
Now I ask all of you - how did he get someone to stay with him for 5 minutes, let alone 5 years? I was hoping the empty-eyed look she's been sporting for photo-ops was just an act, but I seriously think that gal has security issues to deal with. No wonder it was so easy for TC to brainwash . . . uh uh . . . convert her.
posted by Callie | 11/15/2005 11:39:00 AM
9 Comments:
Hopefully after this article, Chris Klein will never get laid again. Ever.
What a complete idiot.
Now I want to find him and bitch-slap him 8 or 9 hundred times.
MD - according to the rest of the article (which I cut so this post wouldn't be overburdened), she's already decided to give up her career to stay home and raise the child(ren). She has nothing in the works, other than the bun in the oven.
If it was her decision - more power to her. Motherhood is difficult under the best circumstances. Being a Hollywood mother must be akin to raising children in a lion's den.
Honestly, though, she acts like she doesn't have a brain in her head. I just hope she's not being used as a ploy for PR. That would just be so sad.
And yes - Chris Klein was in the American Pie series. Not sure which role - I never really paid too much attention to the storyline or the characters (other than the cute redhead - Alyson Hannigan).
Penny - rest assured - if he gets laid at all, it will only be because he was in a movie. I seriously doubt any female worth having would have anything to do with him.
As the only man in this conversation so far, all I have to say is........What? I'm sorry luv, I can't hear you, my ears are clogged. I was watching the Eagles lose to Dallas...Again! What? Who? Huh? Brass Pole????
You know, a few years back my best friend's brothers worked at a hotel in Banff, Alberta. Katie Holmes and Chris Klein stayed in the hotel one time. They didn't have much time to talk to Katie, because they were star-struck males, lol, but apparently they chatted with Chris Klein and he seemed really nice. So that's interesting for me to read that he's a jerk, he certainly played it off as a nice guy when he met with her brothers.
you're kidding me right?
Nope, ltlme - I'm not. I found that article on MSN. I haven't verified it with Elle Magazine, but I'm pretty sure it's accurate. And nauseating.
So strange. I've never kept up on Chris Klein, but it goes against everything I've ever read or hear about him.
Tidbit: He went to the same high school as my ex, in Omaha NE, but at different times. His first movie "Election" was filmed at their school.
I won't doubt the authenticity of the article, maybe he's just bitter? LOL. If so, he should still pull his head out of his ass. Not a good attitude at all.
What a brass pole! No wonder TC looks good to her. Ugh. I want to vomit now. Never thought TC would be a step up.
eventually she'll ask you if you like her body," he pontificates. "You have to say no."
I can not tell if he is a very brave man, or he is a man with a death wish?
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