Whole Lotta Trouble

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Location: Wheatland, California, United States

I'm a mom. I'm a civil servant. I have a sense of humor, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Do these people have stylists?

I'm sure most of you have seen all the red carpet pics from the Academy Awards. They're all over the internet. Well, here's my version of the worst dressed/what were they thinking?

Oh, Elizabeth? How long ago was it when you were voted best dressed? That would be 1996, when you were nominated for best actress, I believe. How times have changed. You went from luminous to frumpy in 11 years. Next year, remember that it's the Oscars. That means evening gown. This isn't a funeral, for goodness sake!

Poor Jodie Foster. She may be one of the most illusive women in show business. This dress explains why. What in the hell is she hiding under there? It looks like she's about ready to fall on her face at any moment.

Kate is usually a vision of beauty. However, this poor choice of gown just makes her look green. Seriously. Her skin, her hair, even her husband. Love the style of the dress, though. Next time, Katie, same dress - different color. And maybe let down your hair.

Who told one of the hottest women in America that frizzy hair and pepto bismal color would be a fashion DO? Cuz, they were seriously WRONG.

There are just no words for this. Are those supposed to be feathers? I just don't know what to think. Penelope - next time, ask Salma for fashion advise. Please.

Beyonce - I know you're known for your curves. But seriously, 3 words. Control Top Pantyhose. They hide a myriad of evil little bulges. Believe me. I know.

If I were Naomi Watts, I would be anywhere on the red carpet EXCEPT next to the vision of beauty and style that is Nicole Kidman. Except for that whole bow thing attacking her back, there is absolutely nothing Nicole Kidman did wrong. Her hair, her makeup, the color of her dress, the style of her dress - all PERFECT. Naomi, however, needs a few tips. First - yellow is NOT her color. Second, boobs do not stay up by themselves. Third, that sash just accentuates the fact that all things are subject to gravity. And finally, the shawl would be much better suited up on her shoulders. It might have given everything a bit of a visual "lift" if you catch my meaning. But down around the elbows again calls attention to the dragging nature.

Leo, I know you're an artiste. You care about the roles you play. You're a consumate performer. But, please. Shave. No amount of facial hair is going to hide the fact that you have the babiest of baby faces. And it just looks silly.

And finally, we have music's (once) golden couple. Does J-Lo not cook? I mean, seriously. Marc Antony is a freaking skeleton. And she wore that dress because he chose it. So, in addition to being a flesh covered skeleton, he has bad fashion sense. This dress will only fuel rumors that Jenny is expecting. She looks like she has a huge belly under all that material. And I'm not sure exactly what she was going for with the hairstyle, either. With a different dress, it may have worked. But with the washed out Grecian look she's trying to go for, the 60's helmut hair doesn't exactly work.

Friday, February 23, 2007


Go over to Dani's blog, and see what it is!

Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

How to start the day out right.

Get up entirely too early. Switch on the TV. Notice that BTVS-OMWF is on. Watch entire hour and sing along.

Something's cookin'
I'm at the griddle
I bought Nero
his very first fiddle

Then listen to the entire soundtrack on the way into work.

Oh, yeah. Very good way to start the day.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

What in the HELL was she thinking???

Came across an article on MSN about a bookkeeper who embezzled almost $7 million from her employer.

First of all, she was caught by another bookkeeper only after she left the company after working there for six years. She was embezzling by writing checks to herself, sometimes for as much as $50,000 each check. How wasn't this caught before? Of all the ways to embezzle, that has to be one of the easiest to find.

But, it doesn't stop there. One of the main rules of embezzlement is KEEP A LOW PROFILE. What does this woman, who earned only about $40,000 per year do? Goes out at buys some of the STUPIDEST ITMES EVER. An example of what she spent her money on:

* a life-size statue of Al Capone

* six talking trees modeled after the "Wizard of Oz" characters

* a 20-foot-tall smoke-breathing dragon

* more than 35 vehicles

* a replica of a Ford Model T customized to look like a green goblin

* and a private performance by singer Burt Bacharach

How can people this stupid continue to live?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Favorite Superbowl Ad

Yes, I'm juvenile. But I thought this ad was HILARIOUS.