Think they'll grow up to be sick and twisted?
The other night, I was tucking my two beautiful girls into bed, when their daddy came in to kiss them good night. Normally, if it's early enough, I get to entertain them with a bedtime story or two. I was fully prepared for the task when, to my amazement, they both started begging Daddy to read "Bambi". I looked at him quizzically, and all I got in return was a sheepish grin.
The previous night, due to exhaustion, Hubby-dear had done the tucking-in duty. Aparently, he read them "Bambi's Big Surprise", one of those Grolier books new parents get conned into purchasing when they have to have every little thing for their prescious, wonderful, intelligent, perfect newborn. In other words - before you get to know the REAL them.
Now, Hubby-dear is an avid hunter, and to say that Bambi is his least favorite Disney story is like saying California is full of self-absorbed neurotics. It's just a given. So, it was with great trepedation that I nodded my approval to his re-telling of this oh-so innocent book.
Following is my husband's rendition of this story:
Wake up Bambi, from your dream.
Eat your breakfast. Drink from the stream
The Sun is shining. It's a brand new day.
Run to your friends. A hunter's on his way.
Walk through the woods. Step around trees.
Crawl under branches. Jump over leaves.
Swim across water, splash and kick.
But be careful, or you'll get shot quick.
Climb up the hill. Do not stop.
Hop over stones. Get to the top.
Wait! There's a shadow by the path.
It's so funny, it makes you laugh.
Is it a plant or rock or tree?
Is it a new friend that you see?
No! It's Owl, Flower and Thumper too.
They're all dead, and so are you.
By the end of the story, they were squealing with laughter. Something tells me I am in SO much trouble.
The previous night, due to exhaustion, Hubby-dear had done the tucking-in duty. Aparently, he read them "Bambi's Big Surprise", one of those Grolier books new parents get conned into purchasing when they have to have every little thing for their prescious, wonderful, intelligent, perfect newborn. In other words - before you get to know the REAL them.
Now, Hubby-dear is an avid hunter, and to say that Bambi is his least favorite Disney story is like saying California is full of self-absorbed neurotics. It's just a given. So, it was with great trepedation that I nodded my approval to his re-telling of this oh-so innocent book.
Following is my husband's rendition of this story:
Wake up Bambi, from your dream.
Eat your breakfast. Drink from the stream
The Sun is shining. It's a brand new day.
Run to your friends. A hunter's on his way.
Walk through the woods. Step around trees.
Crawl under branches. Jump over leaves.
Swim across water, splash and kick.
But be careful, or you'll get shot quick.
Climb up the hill. Do not stop.
Hop over stones. Get to the top.
Wait! There's a shadow by the path.
It's so funny, it makes you laugh.
Is it a plant or rock or tree?
Is it a new friend that you see?
No! It's Owl, Flower and Thumper too.
They're all dead, and so are you.
By the end of the story, they were squealing with laughter. Something tells me I am in SO much trouble.
posted by Callie | 3/30/2006 04:37:00 PM
10 Comments:
Nah, they'll just have a good sense of humour and appreciate that life is always fluffy and wonderful like marshmellow spread.
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hahahaha...damn he's good. Callie you will balance any damage done...but Penny has it....if they were bawling instead of laughing well then...I'd be concerned.
You want a little info...you can stick to books for bedtime stories and at times I wish I had...no, I had to invent my own story..."The Secret Forest" and in the beginning it was fun but every night it began to get harder to make stuff up on the fly....I did, but man the stories got stranger by the day...finally my daughter opted out and one night said..."Dad how about Go Dog Go tonight"...can't say I blamed her...the sand was starting to talk to the brook and they weren't getting along seemed all the brook would do is babble.
OMG,ROFL that is too funny.
I think your girls will grow up to have an awesome sense of humor.
"California is full of self-absorbed neurotics."
This is your best post ever.
Ever.
Does this mean that they are...
TWISTED SISTERS?
Um, you didn't know that when you married the man? It is only just now dawning on you? :P
"California is full of self-absorbed neurotics."
I laughed so hard at that, I had to read it to Phil. He laughed too. That is just great!
Someone has to be the BBQ.
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